Articles

Why Healthy Marriages Are Good for the Workplace

Richard Marks, PhD

By: Richard Marks, PhD

Now I assume that you are thinking, “Oh no! Not another one of those folks who is going to push marriage down my throat!” Actually, no, I am not. However, I can not ignore that divorce is having devastating effects not just on children but also on the parents. And furthermore, the effects of divorce ripple into the workplace. Recently, a Group Vice-President of a national bank contacted me. He was quite frustrated. One of his employees came to him and told him that he was struggling in the training seminars (which by the way cost BIG money to send this person) he was attending due to the inability to focus because the marriage therapy that this employee and his wife were attending didn’t help and they were seeking a divorce. This VP was bothered and informed me that had he known that this employee was having marital problems, he would not have invested the money for the training but in helping this employee and his wife work things out. This came on the heels of about three other divorces taking place in this VPs division. He then understood why their work productivity dropped. He contacted me because he wants to take a proactive approach to helping his employees and their spouses and or significant others by offering marriage education/relationship skills training in the workplace.

The Secret of Marital Success

Richard Marks, PhD

By: Richard Marks, PhD

“We took our time [preparing for marriage], we looked forward to it; didn’t
want to run into something and have nothing to count on but love...”
Aunt May, Spider-Man 3, 2007

Currently, couples marrying for the first time are more likely to divorce in the first four years of marriage and the current national divorce rate for these couples is around 50 percent. Research shows that co-habitation is a risk factor for divorce as well as many other things. But, what does a couple need in order to be successful at marriage? What predicts marital health? Research shows that what predicts distress and divorce 90% of the time is how couples communicate and solve problems.

Are You Emotionally Literate Enough For Marriage

Richard Marks, PhD

By: Richard Marks, PhD

Couples today continue to marry and research reveals that most people believe marriage is a great ideal. However, the choices people make regarding relationships and the increasing divorce rates makes one wonder why people married in the first place. I am of the opinion that couples need to take a premarital education course that will help them understand their relationship strengths and growth areas from an objective perspective. I have always said that every couple that has come to me for premarital typically has an idealistic view of their relationship. One thing that I have learned after all these years, as well as my own 20 plus years of marriage, the current culture has poor emotional literacy skills. Some might call an emotionally illiterate person a Jerk. I tend to call them uneducated and unskilled in the skills of healthy relationship. Now you might be asking yourself, “What in the world is emotional literacy?” I am glad you asked.

But first, let me help give a clearer picture of where the culture is today. Divorce has well established its consequences in our society and it can be felt economically, legally, relationally, and spiritually. And at this point in history, cohabitation has seen at least a ten fold increase among young couples. And the reason for this is that couples choose cohabitation over marriage because they fear divorce.

It Is Not Good For Man To Be Alone

Richard Marks, PhD

By: Richard Marks, PhD

Have you ever heard someone say something like, “Well, you know. When it comes right down to it, all I really need is God.” I have heard Christians use phrases like this for years. I used to think to myself, “When can I get to that point, Lord? I want to get to where all I need is you.” Then, one day, the Lord showed me that the reason I could never have that prayer answered is because He does not answer prayers that are not based on truth. What do I mean you ask? It is my contention that the Scripture does not teach that we only need God.

A Father or a Daddy?

Richard Marks, PhD

By: Richard Marks, PhD

Is it possible to be a father and not a daddy? If so, what would be the difference? I think there are many.

Before we discuss this difference, allow me the time to talk about three types of fathers. The first is the biological father. This type of father only requires of few moments and the contribution of some bodily fluids. There are many fathers in America today that meet these criteria. In the African-American community today about 60% of all children born have no father in their lives. The Caucasian community is fast reaching this same trend. A second type of father is the protector-provider. This is the father of the past couple of decades. These fathers made sure that their children had a roof over their head, food on the table, and clothes on their backs. These fathers were responsible for their family’s physical and material needs, but were negligent in the issues of the heart. The last model of fathering, the biblical model, is the daddy; or better known as Abba Father model. This type of father gives his heart away. The measure of this father is in how much loyalty, trust, and emotional security the children feel with their father. This is the father who is the essence of the fifteen traits of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. This father is strong, but operates out of nurture and care most of the time. This is the essence of our Abba Father, or better translated: DADDY!